Learning To Be Single Again...

by - 10:00

This is going to be one of those posts where I basically just chat shit about how I'm feeling. So beware that this may not make a lot of sense, but hopefully it will end on a positive note.

Some of you may, or may not, know that about a month ago, my (ex) boyfriend and I broke up. I've had a lot of people asking me questions about what happened, but you must understand that it's not something I'm willing to discuss. Relationships are very personal anyways, but a breakup even more so. I'm always happy talking about my own experiences and feelings, but when there's someone else involved you can understand why I treat it differently. If you must know, it was me that ended the relationship, but I won't discuss my reasons for it. At the end of the day, the only people who are entitled to know what happened are me and him.

As you can imagine, this last month has been a roller-coaster of emotion for me. This is also why I've taken a step back from blogging - I found it hard to write about mindfulness and makeup when my head was all over the place, trying to wrap myself around the situation.

The thing is, I don't really know how to be single anymore. I was in that relationship for three years and although I don't regret my decision to end things, it hasn't been easy. I've lost a huge part of my life and I'm struggling to find something else to fill that gap with. One minute I find that I'm the best I've ever been, happy & confident, then the next minute I'm overcome with intense loneliness. I suppose I've never really been the type of person that enjoys being single - I hate to admit it, but deep down I'm a hopeless romantic. I'm an emotional person who gets attached to others way too easily, which also means that I get hurt way too easily. But I have a lot in my life that I need to focus on and sort out before I even think about getting into another relationship.

I'm always too dependent on other people for happiness, so right now I need to focus on finding my own happiness, by myself. I need to find a job that I love and throw myself head first into my writing. I also need to spend a lot of time with my family, especially my mam and step-dad, as soon I won't be able to anymore. I need to focus on finding a great place for my brother and I to live, a fresh start in a new place.

So anyways, that's where I'm at in my life right now. I turn 20 in a few months, and apparently your 20's are some of the best years of your life, so I'm definitely going to be celebrating the f*ck out of that. And hopefully this single life thing won't be too difficult.

And as for my ex, we may not be on speaking terms right now, but I still wish him a world of happiness. Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for giving me some incredible memories. And thank you for teaching me some very valuable lessons.

Thank you.
You can find all of my social media links here:
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Caitlin x

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  1. Caity, I really admire you for writing this post and being so honest with your words. I completely empathise with how you feel and I'm always just a message away if you want or need someone to talk to. I know how it feels to be a hopeless romantic and to rely on other people for your happiness, but I'm now focusing on my education, my family, my friends and my blog and I'm already finding that I'm beginning to find happiness doing my own thing.

    Lots of love my sweet. You have got this <3

    Jade xo | www.simplyjadey.co.uk

  2. You are so strong writing this post! It is hard going through breakups, and the loneliness feeling is awful. I'm kind of the opposite to you - I am really good at being single but not so good at relationships. It's not that I cheat or am a bad person, I just find it hard to open up to these guys who may or may not be a good match :D I do hate the loneliness of being single though, especially when all my friends are in relationships and I'm the odd one out.

  3. Thank you for sharing this Caity, you are incredibly brave and strong! I have never experienced a break up as I have been single for 18 years, sad, I know but the way you have spoken about your journey to learning to be single again is inspiring. I hope you find both yourself and your happiness soon, best wishes on your journey!

    Fran | www.franciscarockey.co.uk