Confidence

by - 16:15

Today I want to talk about a very important subject which I think the majority, if not all, of us can relate to. What I'm talking about is confidence issues. We all have had, do have or will have confidence issues at some point in our lives. Whether it's appearance, personality, general life or all of those combined, we can all relate.

First of all, I would like to state that I myself still have confidence issues, so this post is not a simple 'how to be confident' post, but, over time, I have come to realise a few things and it has dramatically improved my confidence and changed the way I view myself as a person. So, if you like, this post is more of a 'how I became more confident and started to not care what others thought' post. 

Realisation one: Comparison kills confidence.
 The main cause of my confidence issues, and I'm sure the main cause of anyone's confidence issues, was comparison. I would always compare myself to others, every tiny detail that I could pick out of a person's appearance, or personality, or life I would compare with my own, "She has amazing eyebrows, her eyebrows are better than mine", "She's so smart, she's smarter than I am", "She can sing, she's more talented than I am", "She has a boyfriend, she's more loved than I am", the list goes on. I fell so deep into comparing myself to others that I began to question if I was even worth it, as I believed that these girls had better qualities than me I started to believe that their live's were worth more than mine.
One day I realised that this self comparison had taken over my life and thus broke me down. It struck an idea in my head that there's always going to be someone who's better looking than me, there's always going to be someone who's more successful than me, there's always going to be someone who's generally doing better in life than I am, but I can't let it control my life. You can't let it control your life either. I decided that the best thing for me to do was to focus on me and my life. Your life is your focus, not someone else's life.
Besides, how can you compare yourself to someone who is completely different to you? This brings me to my next realisation.

Realisation two: Everyone is different.
I know that saying 'everyone is different' is a tad cliché but it's true. There are no two people in the entire world that are identical, even identical twins aren't identical in every aspect.
I believe that every person is a perfect and unique concoction of everything that makes a person who they are, a unique combination of personal qualities.
This makes me believe that everyone has something to offer. This makes me believe that I have something to offer. I am a unique combination of qualities, I could potentially offer something to the world that no other person can. So can you.

Realisation three: Your opinion matters most.
No one's opinion of yourself matters more than yours.
You can't change anyone's opinion of yourself so you may as well be yourself and stop disguising yourself as someone else in a fight to gain someone's positive opinion of yourself, because at the end of the day, that opinion isn't of you, it's of a very fake version of you. Don't be a puppet to gain some positive opinions. If somebody doesn't like you for who you really are then someone else will.

Realisation four: I ain't all that bad.
You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life, as do I with myself. Something that occurred me was that, I'm not all that bad, sometimes I even think that I'm pretty great. I am the way that I am and that isn't a bad thing. I love the things that I love just because I do. The things that I like and dislike essentially make up who I am and of course my opinions of certain things can always be swayed but there's one opinion that should always stay the same, I am great.


I hope this helped you in some way and made you realise the same things that I realised. I didn't go into too much detail as I didn't want this post to be too long, but this leaves room for you to think about your own realisations and think about your own opinions on the matter.
If you have any opinions, realisations or points that you feel should be mentioned, please feel free to either email me, and I may make another post addressing those points, or leave a comment.

Thank you for reading, make sure to check out my other posts and my social media links.

Caitlin x

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